I wish I did that (when current-me regrets the past-me decisions)
“I wish I did (fill in the blank) in the past. It would have made my current life so much easier, happier, better, etc.”
“I wish I did (fill in the blank) in the past. It would have made my current life so much easier, happier, better, etc.”
We all have entertained the “I should have, could have” thoughts before.
From the future’s perspective, past-me could have done more; she could have taken on this project, learned another language, and gone to this place that she decided to skip out on.
Well, there’s a reason why you decided not to take on that workload, or skip that social gathering or miss out on that trip.
Instead of piling things on,
You decided to sleep.
You decided rest would serve you better.
You decided freeing your mind and attention by giving something up would help you feel more at peace.
You were practicing self-care.
For that, be proud of yourself.
Give yourself credit for having listened to your heart, and having practiced self-respect, self-love, instead of keeping yourself busy at any cost.
When you drive your car a long distance, say 10 hours or more, you give your car a rest at rest stations. Not just once, but a few times. It gives your car a chance to cool down and to fuel up so that it doesn’t run out of gas or run into troubles. It also gives the driver a break from driving so that she can drive safely again after.
If the driver decides to go non-stop for 12 hours, her car would eventually stop working because it will be out of gas/electricity, and she will no longer be apt to drive safely due to tiredness and blurred judgment. In the end, this would be an inefficient strategy.
The same applies to how we live life and how we make decisions to take that exit on a rest stop (or not).
I should have done that…
From the future-me perspective, past-me had the time, the energy, the bandwidth.
But trust that you have decided against something for a good reason.
As you get better at making good decisions by tuning into your intuition, you will also develop the ability to quickly trust your past-me decisions when regretful voices come up.
What was more important to you back then?
Was it your peace of mind? Was it your personal growth? Were you experimenting with something?
Achieving more and ticking off more things on the list probably would have not allowed for you to experience what was more important to you at the time.
And for your decisions that you need to make today:
Your head might say, you can squeeze it in. Do it.
Your heart might whisper, please prioritize your mental health, physical well-being, spiritual wealth and peace of mind. Or it might even tell you, something doesn’t feel right.
When you learn to decide from your heart,
Your future-me won’t have to suffer from regrets, nor will they have to wonder why your past-me had made such a decision, even if it does not make sense to the logic of your present-me.
Whatever has been done has already been done. The sweetest redemption would be to put your present-me to work in making the best decisions for today to move forward in the best way that suits who you are today and who you want to be tomorrow. It is all about what you do today with what you got as a result of your past decisions; wether your current-me approves of it or not.
When you get used to how you make your decisions and you can trust yourself with it, it will give your future-me less room for regrets.
Stay tuned for future posts on the science of “I don’t feel like it”, and a fun quiz on “logical head vs. intuitive heart” decision making styles.
With love,
S